This week’s interview features a millennial mama that also keeps it real. Honesty is key here people. Seydy is a new mommy that works a full time job and runs a blog—on her blog she shares her mommy journey, life lessons and home decor projects. To top it off, she is just a friendly soul!
Take a read at what she has to say!
What is your name?
How old were you when you had your first baby?
How many babies do you have?
I have one child for now!
How was your labor & delivery experience?
My labor & delivery experience was one I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought would happen the way it did. I thought I was going to have a natural birth and my body would do its thing to help bring my daughter into this world. But I was SO wrong! Instead I was on the verge of pre-eclampsia and got put on bed rest the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy due to my swollen feet (I was still working full time and doing all the things). I had a doctor’s appointment for my 39 weeks and my blood pressure was high. I was admitted into the hospital and put in a laboring room. I was by myself at that appointment, so I began to panic and immediately called my husband to leave work. I was monitored for my Blood pressure and all was fine. Fast forward to the next morning I had not dilated more than 2cm and my OBGYN was concerned why since I had received Cervidil and it did not work. I received what was to me the worst news possible C-SECTION. It was around 10:30 am and my daughter was born at 11:15 AM but what to me felt like an eternity to see her again after they presented me to her due to my vomiting as a side effect to the anesthesia I received for the surgery. For me the worst part of this whole experience was throwing up what felt like 30 times in a matter of 1-2 hours. The rest of my recovery was a breeze to my surprise. I received pain medication for 2 days out of the 4 I was at the hospital since I felt I didn’t need it. My advice (Given you take it with a grain of salt) be very aware things will never go your way and don’t be sad when things don’t happen the way you planned.
Did you have a birth plan? Did it go as planned? Who was there when you were in labor and in delivery?
I didn’t have a birth plan but there were two things I specified my OBGYN I wanted; skin to skin and vaginal birth. It did NOT go as planned; I had a C-section and I wasn’t able to have immediate skin to skin. Since I had a C-section only one person was allowed and my husband was there but if I would’ve had vaginal birth it would’ve been my mother as well.
What is your honest experience with your pregnancies?
My OVERALL experience was something I can personally handle all over again. Now I did experience nausea for 4 months every evening which Sea-band was my lifesaver! I HATED feeling this way and this part I can totally skip! I had to very quickly accept that my body was changing, and it was all for the sole purpose of brining my bundle of joy into the world. MANY times, I would sit on my bed crying because I couldn’t tie my own shoes, or I couldn’t shave my legs because let’s be real most of us are very independent and don’t need someone to help us in most things. But thankful for my husband who talked some sense into me but still VERY hard to come to terms with. Get ready for the many comments from people saying, “Oh you’ve gained so much weight” “Wow your belly is so big are you sure you’re not having multiples” “Don’t drink coffee while pregnant it’s not good” Seriously, tell them ALL to F*ck off! I had a cup of coffee every day and YES SUSAN I’m carrying one child. Let it be known that not everyone will experience food aversions or cravings because I didn’t. The only craving I had was ice cream and pizza that’s it. Your emotions will definitely be a roller coaster and that’s totally ok. The stretch marks (Which I had tons of) will come I don’t care how good your skin is or if you’re mother never got them; 9 times out of 10 we all get them!
Let’s talk body changes, what was your experience with the growth process?
I gained weight probably more than I would’ve like to but you can’t drive yourself crazy thinking about this. I had a hard time seeing my body change, let’s be honest. I had stretch marks from the beginning and getting pregnant meant I’d be getting more whether I used a cream to lather on and prevent or not. I had Sciatica pain for a few months and boy was it hard to deal with every night. I also had back pains at the end of my pregnancy due to all the weight in my belly and many times I needed to take a break or not push myself to do the 100 things I wanted to.
Do you work? If so, how do you handle the pressure of work life and mom life?
I work full time and oftentimes mom guilt myself if I’m making the right choice to work full time. I am thankful I can work full time and know my child is being well taken care of but it’s difficult knowing you miss out on some of their big milestones. It’s hard but whatever decision you make just know your child still loves you the same.
At the end of the day or during, how do you find time for yourself?
I work full time and when I get home my husband has already returned from home so I ALWAYS make the excuse I need to use the bathroom and hide there for a good 10 minutes before he comes looking for me lol. I need to work on making time for myself as I often times find myself getting overwhelmed or losing my patience. I would love to make time to at least once or twice a month do something I enjoy doing for myself and I recommend EVERY mom or mom to be to not be afraid to let someone know you need a break or a whole day to yourself.
How do you handle the pressures of ‘being a mom’ in this day and age?Family? Friends? The media?
It’s hard in today’s day and age. Everyone wants to give you advice, but everyone also wants to judge the way you do things. The media is so focused on whether today’s mom give too much screen time or if they give their kids too much materialistic things. I think that we should be focusing on how much time and love we are dedicating to our kids. everyone “moms” differently let them be! I take everyone advice with a grain of salt and literally eye roll every time (sorry not sorry) but I can’t live my life how someone else wants to.
Something you wish you knew before becoming a mom?
Patience is SO important. No matter how much of a patient person you think you are you need more than that. Mom’s are “advertised” as a superhero and a do it all. It’s ok to ask for help, it’s ok to let your spouse know he needs to take over because we CANNOT do it all were only human. ITS OK TO ASK FOR HELP.
Who/what was your biggest support group during pregnancy and after?
My husband. Just always bringing me back to my senses and letting me know it’s ok. My parents were a great help too because I’d always ask my mother for advice on what I was experiencing and being Hispanic she’d make me my favorite foods.
What are the top 5 items you carry in your diaper bag?
- WIPES (you will learn to clean just about anything and everything with these)
- PACIFIER ( NEVER forget this if you’re child likes them because it’ll be hell)
- muslin blankets
- Diapers (pack more than 2 personally I carry 5 at all times)
- A toy
Let’s talk breastfeeding.
I’m going to be short on this topic because I find it to be controversial. I wanted to breastfeed and was suggested by many to do so. I tried and was only able to for a few days. end of story It did not work out for me and thanks to society and their pressure to do it I nearly broke down and cried everyday realizing it wasn’t working out for me.
So far the hardest thing about being a mom?
Being a mom literally but since you’re asking for specifics it has to be making grand decisions that can affect your baby. The newborn stage is by far the HARDEST but not impossible. Getting to know a brand-new human baby and all its needs and wants its tough. You’re nearly tired all day every day and you feel like you’re not you anymore, it’s HARD. being a mom is HARD.
How did you know when it was the right time for YOU and your partner to have a baby?
I didn’t. the right time for me was when I graduated from college and had a job that could financial help us a little more. But life had other plans for me and my husband. My husband was ready so that brought me peace a little more.
What are some of the things you advise moms to do for themselves after having baby?
Stay calm and do things the way you want to rather than what others say or what the experts advise. Routine, babies need routine they function best that way and once I figured this out life has been so much better. schedule your day to day and squeeze in time for yourself and date nights!
List of things you wish you packed in your hospital bag, and list of things you recommend packing.
I wish I would’ve packed more clothing for my daughter and bigger sized granny panties for myself ( I underestimated sizing). I recommend bringing a pillow for yourself and your husband to make you feel more “home”. Also, leave the boppy pillow at home because it does not help (I say it from experience) and bring a robe for yourself!!
How do you stay connected to the outside world as a mom?
I think social media is a fun way to connect with other moms and make new friends but being a mom means we have little to no time to talk to anyone. But do make effort to invite your friends over for dinner or even plan to go to kid-friendly places to feel a little more “human” and not so excluded from the rest of the world.
Thank you so much Seydy for being a part of this and for sharing your honesty and experience.
Until next time friends,