My mom and I

Let’s talk about mama’s.

Having a great– good– or even a relationship with your mom is something so precious. It’s a bond like no other. Growing up, my mom and I were not the best of friends. That’s not to say that we’re the best of friends now either.

I wouldn’t say I was a rebellious teen but we definitely didn’t see eye to eye. Mostly because of boyfriends (which for the record, I had three boyfriends before I got married) and the crazy that came from living in an 8 person household. I don’t feel that in those teen years I ever did anything to break the possibility for a special bond but I also didn’t feel I could talk to my mom about anything. Not going to lie, I really wish I could’ve. Sometimes I’d be upset and would tell her that I wish we could have a relationship like the one my best friend had with her mom. I’ve looked back on that many times and I’m sure that not only hurt her but that she wished for that too. I’m not crying….

I don’t know if you believe in astrology but my mom and I are the same sign. Our birthday’s are also a week apart. If you know Leo’s, you know what I’m talking about. We have very strong personality and though we aren’t stubborn we are quick to speak and make a point of doing so. So you can only imagine the arguments/discussion we would have and how we might’ve hurt each other’s feelings.

She got sick..

I won’t go into detail on this but my senior year of high school she got very sick. Mentally, I froze. That’s just how I coped with it. She thought I didn’t care because I didn’t cry. But I did, I cried a lot. I didn’t want her to see my that way because I wanted her to see me be strong but she thought I didn’t care. Unfortunately, there were other negative fall outs going on at the time and that’s a story for another time.

Happiness came back to our household, my mom was so strong and that is why she is still here with us. God willing she will remain with us until she has spent all the time she wants with all of her babies, grand babies and has seen everything she’s ever wanted to see.

After this event I had a stronger and more determined outlook on the capabilities and strengths of my mom. Her willingness to survive for her family, for her kids. It was the essence of love. I grew a sense and need of protection over her. I would never let any hurt her or treat her any less than she should be treated when I was around. This experience of almost losing my mom gave me the confidence and strength to speak up more than ever before.

When did things start to change?

Honestly, it wasn’t until I officially moved out with my now husband that our relationship became to flourish. As I’ve grown older and continue to step into different roles in my life that bond between my mom and I has shifted. Life events became relatable, topics became more comfortable to talk about — this relationship I have with my mom has grown.

About our age gap

When I was born by mom had just turned 22. That was in the early 90s. I KNOW, she was just a baby. Growing up I always felt so lucky to have a young mom, I still feel so lucky. We ALMOST have the same shoes size and we can easily share clothes! She can be as brutally honest as I am and that’s totally okay with me.

Now that I live so far from my mom is hard to just spend time with her. We never really did any ‘bonding’ that I can consciously remember as an adult. We did the occasional shopping, and cooking and going out to lunch, but nothing intimate like getting our nails or hair done together. Recently when she visited us here in Rochester, I became so emotional because I realized how much I missed her. Not to mention we don’t have any family here and this is the first time I move this far away from them. Her presence and ability to make things feel safe, that’s a special mom thing.

Before I close this post here are some questions I’d love if you posted replies to:

  1. Are you a mom?
  2. Do you rely on your mom/mom figure for support?
  3. What are some of the things you enjoying sharing with your mom?
  4. How do you cope with mom not living near you?

P.S. Go call your mom, surprise her with a package, send her a letter/email.

Trust me.

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